Does life continue in lockdown? Hospitalisation and care

Is this the third or fourth time I have been in hospital, every hospitalisation has seemed to roll into one. My admissions have seemed to get longer and when I am discharged, each time I am less well and less able to look after myself.

Hospitals are not nice places, nurses seem over worked and unable to dedicate much of their time to you. I press my buzzer but seem to wait an age for someone to come and see me. The pain is unbearable. I am confused, what day is it? Why has nobody been to visit me? They tell me that due to the pandemic I am not allowed any visitors. Surely after all this time in hospital, I should be able to see someone. I feel alone and forgotten about. I am confused and don’t always hear my phone. I can’t walk, need help with getting a wash and can’t even make it to the toilet on time. I’m not going to eat today, I can’t be bothered and there is no way they are putting a feeding tube down me. I just want to see my family and feel reassured. 

Once again, I come to the time when I am medically stable. What does that actually mean? I’m never getting better and can’t go home and look after myself. Carers have been coming in 3 times a day – they ask if I am ok, I say yes, they then give me my medication and they go. Carers visits seem to last a few minutes. Again, I know they are busy, but that’s not my fault, I need a bit more time with people. Why don’t they see how I am living? Why do they not notice I am not looking after myself? Why don’t they report it? 

My family have intervened and this time the hospital discharge plans are considering a short stay in a care home for an assessment – thank god. My last week in hospital this time has filled me with a bit more optimism – my care needs are going to be looked at properly. 5 days I sat in the hospital bed and waited for a move to a care home. The first care home couldn’t take me because I was too young. The second care home wouldn’t take me because the Local Authority wouldn’t pay – it was too expensive. Who puts a price on need? Finally I have been offered a place in another care home. I have 2 weeks of safety and security in this care home. I hope at the end of the 2 weeks, I am allowed to stay? This will be dependent on an assessment by the social worker and others. I hope my wife fights for me to stay here. I can’t go home and look after myself. I am scared.